Monday, December 11, 2006

Maria's Faaaaantastic Fav flav's...

Bonjour Mon Ami's. Here's a top 5 rundown of things that are currently tickling me...Does this remind anyone else of 'High Fidelity?'

1. Rocking the same shit every day.

I dont Know about y'all, but I like to give my gear a run. I'm talking about one shirt, two weeks, and maybe another weekend for good measure. If you've seen me in the last two months you may have taken notice of my bitchin' Metallica shirt. Then the next time you saw me...No, that wasn't an unfortunate coincidence or a mischance, thats just marination. I like what I like and I dont have energy for all the time and effort that goes into new outfit innovation. The way I sees it is, If it aint broke, dont fix it. Yeah sure, grunge may be dead...but this isnt grunge as a fashion statement...this is grunge as in terminal laziness and perpetual ennui. Props to the girls who stay fresh, always coming up with new ways to look cute. How I look cute is running the same shirt, different drawers. This look ain't for everyone, mainly just heshers and the homeless, I fall nicely between the two catagories. Good luck!

2. Aquatic Mysteries from the deep.

If you ask anyone that knows me they'll tell you I'm a bit irrational and totally consumed with whimsical bullshit. Which is why I'm so obsessed with the great unknown of the sea. Atlantis, The Bermuda triangle, sunken treasure, haunted shipwrecks, pirates, THE LOCH NESS MONSTER fondly referred to as "Nessie" The Titanic (not a mystery but still creepy and ocean related) The monster of Lake Champlain, Sirens, Davy Jones' Locker, mutiny at sea..etc. I'm petrified by what may or may not be lurking about in the water. For my logical mind there is just simply too much unknown, too much uncharted expanse. I mean, shit man, ANYTHING could be down there. It's like pandoras box, and I for one ain't tippin the scales. Honestly, I vote to keep Nessie a terrifying and provocative enigma...lets not ruin (or disprove) the surprise. What else will I spend my time theorizing and obsessing over? I plan on spending my hypothetical honeymoon guessed it, Scotland. I'm gonna buy a buttload of "I swam with Nessie" and "I heart Lake Ness" tourist crap and I'm gonna have a gay old time. I'll post pics.

3. Jacki O.

Hot Damn! This lil' mama is kinda killin it right now. This is the self proclaimed "Queen of the south" and also sworn enemy of "my neck/my back" rapstress Khia. Now, I'm mildly fascinated by Khia's weird dykey mannerisms and really bad flea market tattoo's, but I gotta give this one to Jacki O. They're both basically fighting for the title of 'Queen of Miami.' Thing is, Jacki's got a lil somethin on Khia...they're called TITTIES! (also talent) But WOWOWOW check out the knockers on J.O.! She's got what I like to call "stripper chic" down to a science. I highly reccomend you google her name for images or look her up on Myface. The bitch is stacked, from the front and from the back. Plus she rocks the Ghetto gul gear without even a hint of irony. I'm talking clear heels, fake Dior and maaaaaaad stretch denim. With that bod, those naxxxxxxxsty ass lyrics, and all that is a shoe in for my favorite thing smokin. She's basically my idol. PLUS word on the street is that she gave FOXY BROWN an ass whooping in the studio!! She beat a bitch in the studio y'all!!! She is not even playin. And neither am I. She scares me! Check out the X rated vid for her new single with the Ying Yang twinz.

ALSO** download one of my alltime favorite girl anthem, pussy power tracks "Nookie."

Thank me later.

4. Christian Louboutin

Let me tell you somethin.' I dont care about Labels. And not for the simple "I cant afford that shit!" reasons that knock off purchasing hoodrats employ. I just really dont care. Seasons come and go, must have items are replaced and then recycled and then replaced again, and I may never even take notice. I like to think of myself as pleasantly clueless. I like my fashion old and dusty, and worn by someones late grammy. I cant and dont see any reason to pay an obscene ammount of money for something that any old common person can have. I dont save up all my pennies and then blow them on one nice but tragically trendy "it" bag. Blow me. Thats fake bourgeois and completely laughable. I would never spend $5,000 on Gucci, Prada, Bottega, Balenciaga, YSL anything!! But I WOULD take that same ammount and spend it on an amazing piece of vintage. That being said...There is only one label making the thing that I salivate for. The thing that sends my heart a flutter. Mr. Christian Louboutin. His shoes are so jaw droppingly hot and so painfully high that when I look at them all I can think about is SEX. His shoes are straight sex. The boots are flawless, the stillettos perfectly shaped and the peep toe pumps are reminiscent of a sculpture, a delicious torture device. Any well heeled woman knows: the higher the heel...the longer the leg, and the longer the leg, the better the strut. I once read an interview with Mr. Louboutin where he explained the signature red sole that all his heels display, he said "I think of the red sole as saying "Follow me young man." How sexy is that?! I dont know about you but I'm sold. (pun intended)

5. Sauna and Steaming.

This is a beauty Public Service Announcement ladies. You need to up your beauty repetoire. As a girl who will try anything twice...let me tell you, this really works. Try going to a spa or a nicer hotel (my favorite is the spa at The Standard) and either sign up for a day pass or just sneak in. It shouldn't be that much, and even if it is...your sweet little face and cutesy pie figure is worth it, isn't it?. Steaming and taking a sauna for at least thirty minutes each once or twice a week will make you shed toxins in your body, lose extra water weight and makes your skin smooth and well hydrated. Take a girlfriend and a headband and you're set for a day of relaxation and total well being. After I get out of the spa I feel glowy and peaceful, not to mention my skin looks fabulous and the day after I don't have lunge and tug myself into my favorite Topshop jeans, they glide on smooth as butter. If you're not drinking enough water your body freaks out and tries to retain it, making you look bloated and blah. When you shed this water naturally through sweating, and then replenish with 6-8 glasses more, your body is much happier and healthier and in turn, you look great. So bring a large bottle of cool water (you'll need it in
the sauna!) And just sit back and watch yourself turn into a dewy and blissful babe. Trust me girls, you'll love it. And remember...DRINK YOUR WATER!!! It truly is a beauty wonder.

over and out lovelies.


Maria aka Glamour Shot$